Mike Cagley, Co-Host Sports Spectacular

September 8, 2025

College football coaches aren’t generally known as romantic guys. This is probably a side effect of the total commitment that running a successful collegiate football program can take. Long hours and a long season kill romance.

If it’s possible, football statistics can occasionally produce the one thing that might be borderline erotic. There were several stats that may have brought out the romantic side of the Illini football coaching staff. Let’s run down a few seemingly innocent football statistics that could be described as … inspiring, impressive, arousing or even borderline erotic!

Hail Mary #1 – Illinois Drive Chart

Lost amongst the barrage of stats that get talked about on a television broadcast is the old-fashioned drive by team chart. When you look at the drive chart for the Illinois at Duke game, several things jump out.

The first half started out horribly.  On social media, Illini fans and national observers were negative towards the results of these early drives. Quite frankly, things looked bleak for the Illini – other than the fact Duke was unable to score more than a field goal against the Illini defense.

Illini frustration was added to by the drive that fizzled in the late second quarter. An Altmyer sack for 12 yards resulted in a punt. Instead of the Illini scoring a touchdown to go up 21 to 6 at the half, Duke was able to score a touchdown and the half ended at 14-13 for the Illini.

The second half drive chart was a thing of beauty.

The Illini scored on the next five drives. That is not a typo. The Illini scored a touchdown, then another touchdown, then for variety, a field goal. That was a nearly perfect third quarter.

Amazingly, the Illini weren’t done. They scored two more touchdowns in the fourth quarter. This allowed the Illini to line up in Bielema’s favorite formation, the Victory formation, to end the game.

Bret Bielema has finished a lot of victories on the winning side of the field. This had to be one that he loved because of the sheer statistical beauty of the second half. When one looks at the drive chart, one can see a beautiful depiction of a fantastic second half.

Hail Mary #2 – Turnover Chart

Bret Bielema talks about the importance of winning the turnover battle. This is a key to winning games and losing this statistic makes it much harder to win games. This game illustrated the validity of Bielema’s beliefs.

The Illini won the turnover battle 5-0. The Illini scored 21 points off Duke turnovers. If you take those turnovers and points away, the Illini would’ve won a tight game that would’ve gone down to the wire.

Illini fans enjoyed the second half in large part due to the Illini’s ability to generate turnovers – and just as importantly, to score after the turnover.

Hail Mary #3 – Time of Possession

Bret Bielema is famous for his teams dominating time of possession. It’s hard to beat a Bret Bielema coached team when opponents are forced to watch Bielema’s offense for most of the game. The Illini dominated this statistic by a margin of 36:12 to 23:48.

Make no mistake, playing great defense in the second half made this statistical win possible. On the offensive side, not turning over the ball and cutting their own possession time short was a key. Scoring each time the Illini offense had the ball also made the most of the Illini time of possession.

Hail Mary #4 – Red Zone Scoring

The Illini entered the red zone 5 times. And they scored 5 times.

To be successful, teams must make the best of the opportunities presented to them. This is what makes winning possible.

The Illini did what they needed to do. They did not squander any opportunities to score when they entered the red zone.

Teams that do this win games. Special teams provided an assist by recovering the Duke fumbled punt on the 18. The defense assisted by providing a fumble recovery on Duke’s 23. It’s nice to get the ball in the red zone to start drives and red zone adjacent works as well.

Hail Mary #5 – Final Score

This is the statistic that overrides all statistics. You can win a game – and this statistic – without winning the other statistics mentioned in this column, but it’s rare.

When the game is played correctly, the final score reflects the statistical advantages gained in those mentioned above. On Saturday, the Illini put everything together in the second half – and the game results reflected their dominance - for many it was inspiring, impressive, arousing - or even borderline erotic.

Here’s to more Saturdays like last Saturday!